Hi, my name is Ken, and I’m a recovering self-help junkie.
It’s January 20th and by this time some of you have already broken every last one of your 2010 new years resolutions, or at least most of them.
A couple months ago I stumbled upon the following in the only magazine I read cover to cover (okay, it’s like 8 pages max). Erik Guzman has a blog and is the producer of Steve Brown’s varied radio programs (if you know me at all, you know I totally dig Steve). The article came to mind cause I’m always looking for something to post here that has been helpful to me that might be to others. I don’t normally re-print a post or an article in its entirety from someone else (as I am more inclined to simply provide a link), but this was so good I had to… and in the event Erik ever takes it down off his blog (The Merry Monk), I’ll have it here.
I had quite a year. I made a few resolutions at the beginning of 2009 and I’ve done well.
I worked out 5-6 times a week and became a vegetarian. My resolution was to become a vegan, but cheese kept finding its way into my mouth (it snuck in on veggie pizza and goldfish crackers). I also ate an egg. Then there was the mahi-mahi my wife and I ate while celebrating our 15th wedding anniversary…and the lunch meat I tasted when making my kids’ lunch. (Hey, it could have gone bad. I was throwing myself in front of the salmonella bus to save the children.) But that’s not the point.
The point is that I made some New Year’s resolutions and I’ve done well. With all the exercise and my vegetarianism, I lost 50 pounds. I also quit drinking and sneaking my boss’ pipe tobacco. I’m like a Nazarite without the hair. I’m going to get a life insurance policy with premiums in the basement before I lose it and go on some kind of crazy meat and beer binge, gain all the weight back, and grease up my blood. But that’s not the point.
The point is that as of right now, I’m living as cleanly as I ever have. And on top of that, I started seeing a counselor to work through my stuff, to name “my demons” and kiss them on the mouth, in an effort to live in greater degrees of freedom. And on top of that, I’m working on another master’s degree at Reformed Theological Seminary. The way I’m going, I might get translated straight into heaven like Enoch. I hope the life insurance policy pays out even if they don’t find a body.
2009 has been a year of personal reformation in just about every area of my life. Do you know what I’ve discovered in the process of getting my act together? I’ll tell you anyway. God isn’t happy with me because of my efforts. I thought he would be. I went to him and said, “Look, Father, I’m finally starting to behave like a “real” Christian. What do you think of me now?” And he just replied, “Good for you.” I could tell by the way he said it that he wasn’t impressed.
There is something twisted in me that wants to make God happy, but I’ve found that it’s useless. Trying to make God happy is like standing on the beach, collecting the waves in a child’s bucket and pouring the water back into the surf in an effort to get the ocean wet.
God is already happy and nothing I do can add to or subtract from that.
“This is my beloved Son in whom I am well pleased.” Those words from our Father were the air Jesus breathed. He did only what he saw the Father doing, and God the Father was constantly and consistently happy with God the Son.
Because of the cross, those are the Father’s words to us too. Listen to that still small voice that’s almost drowned out by self-condemnation and the accusations of our enemy and you’ll hear the words like a cool breeze in the heat of the day, “You’re my beloved child and I’m happy with you.”
Not only is the Father happy with me because I’m part of the body of his beloved Son, the fact is…he’s just plain happy. It is part of the package that comes with being the eternally blessed source of all goodness.
You don’t have to read much of the Bible to see what I mean. In Genesis, he says a few words and everything that exists springs into a good and pleasant existence. He didn’t create because of any need or loneliness on his part. The Trinity was enough. Instead, he shared his image with dust simply to bless us with the overflow of his happiness. And then, within an instant of our shattering that image and running from his blessing, the biblical account shows him chasing us to cover our shame. He proclaims his name in Exodus 34:6, “The LORD, the LORD, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness.” Romans 11:35-36 reveals God’s overflowing wealth of blessedness this way, “Who has given a gift to him that he might be repaid? For from him and through him and to him are all things.” He doesn’t need anything or owe anyone…he’s the very definition of satisfied.
The Old Testament is filled with commands to rest and celebrate in God’s goodness. We’re so uptight he had to order us to share in his happiness. All those feast days were not solemn occasions. Check out this seldom quoted command from Deuteronomy 14:22, 25-26 that reveals the spirit of the law, “You shall tithe all the yield of your seed that comes from the field year by year…bind up the money in your hand and go to the place that the LORD your God chooses and spend the money for whatever you desire—oxen or sheep or wine or strong drink, whatever your appetite craves. And you shall eat there before the LORD your God and rejoice, you and your household.” I bet you’ve never heard those verses used in a sermon on tithing.
In the New Testament we see God the Son frequenting so many parties he’s accused of being a drunk. The last book of the Bible reveals that the world ends with the biggest wedding celebration ever. Everyone’s invited and there’s an open bar: “The Spirit and the Bride say, ‘Come.’ And let the one who hears say, ‘Come.’ And let the one who is thirsty come; let the one who desires take the water of life without price” (Revelation 22:17).
God has so much and is so much that he’s described as the fountain of living waters. We’re told that he delights in sharing his abundance with his children. Luke 12:32 reads, “Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom.”
There is that word again, “pleasure.” God is pleased and it’s his pleasure to share the happiness of his abundance.
In the face of all that, it’s absolutely comical that I would want to make God happy, but I do. It’s ridiculous, but not unprecedented. In fact, it’s the same arrogance that motivated Adam and Eve to cover themselves with leaves instead of coming to God for clothes.
I am like the guys Paul talked about in Romans 10:2-4, “They have a zeal for God, but not according to knowledge. For, being ignorant of the righteousness that comes from God, and seeking to establish their own, they did not submit to God’s righteousness. For Christ is the end of the law for righteousness to everyone who believes.”
That is what’s so dangerous about commitment in general and New Year’s resolutions in particular. Our efforts to be good can blind us to the only real righteousness there is.
Do you want to know what gave me the juice to get my act together this year? A life insurance policy with low premiums…and grace. It really is true that the only people who get any better are those who know that if they don’t get any better, God will still be happy with them anyway.
To be honest, when I first heard that message, I started smoking and drinking and rebuilding the CD collection I threw out when I first became a Christian. All because I really believed in the imputed righteousness of Christ. I was sure God was happy. But here’s the kicker…I wasn’t. I was absolutely miserable.
That is the upside of sin. If you’re really a child of God, it makes you sick. Keep it up and you’ll get more and more miserable, and consequently more and more determined to stop. You look around at the pigs you’re sharing dinner with and remember the celebrations at the Father’s house. You remember that he’s happy, that he has more than enough, and that if you go home, you’ll be happy too.
I didn’t get my act together this year to make God happy. I did it to make me happy and that’s why I did so well. When I pointed out my success to God and he said, “Good for you,” he meant it. God’s correction is his gift to us. But sometimes you don’t see that until you realize God’s already happy and he doesn’t need you to finish the job. And sometimes you don’t see he’s already happy until you get drunk and miserable and stumble home.
Hear these words from Nehemiah 8:9-10, “‘Do not mourn or weep.’ For all the people wept as they heard the words of the Law. Then he said to them, ‘Go your way. Eat the fat and drink sweet wine and send portions to anyone who has nothing ready, for this day is holy to our Lord. And do not be grieved, for the joy of the LORD is your strength.’”
Remember that if you find yourself feeling fat and undisciplined after all the holiday parties and food and overindulgence. As you haul that last garbage bag of torn up wrapping paper to the curb and start thinking about making some resolutions, don’t forget that God’s joy is your strength.
Don’t resolve to be good to make God happy. Instead, enjoy his happiness and you just might be surprised by your faithfulness. Even if you don’t get any better, it’s the best chance you’ve got at having a Happy New Year.
Now…does anyone want to go get a beer?
This piece was originally published in the Key Life Magazine. Click here for a free subscription and get articles like Resolution Solution and a whole lot more!
Hi, my name is Ken, and I’m a recovering self-help junkie.
Pastor and writer Jared C. Wilson, recently shared the following. I thought it made a ton of sense.
“The concept of self-help is like putting your broken hand in a garbage disposal, flipping the switch, and expecting it to be healed.”
Well stated my friend.
Hi, my name is Ken, and I’m a recovering self-help junkie.
I’ve posted clips of this guy before, he’s hilarious.
Hi, my name is Ken, and I’m a recovering self-help junkie.
The new year occasion is a time to pray if there ever was a time.
May our prayers for this new year consist of more than just bread on our tables, but bread for others. And most significantly, the Bread of Life for their souls. May we pray bold prayers for the unlikely, the far-fetched, the doubtful, the improbable and even the impossible this coming year.
God of the new year — Interrupt our plans this coming year that don’t include you, replace our fleeting strength with your unlimited supply, shatter our cold indifference with your undying love, and overshadow our pathetic self-pity with your undeserved acceptance of us. Your Kingdom come in our hearts and lives, again. Amen.
Re-post from last year.
Hi, my name is Ken, and I’m a recovering self-help junkie.
When you tell God you’ll do something, do it — now. God takes no pleasure in foolish gabble. Vow it, then do it. Far better not to vow in the first place than to vow and not pay up. ~Ecclesiastes c5 v4-5
While a number of Americans will be making vain and lofty resolutions tomorrow night I have decided it far better to draft my own list of unresolutions.
As I land on the canvas of this dawning new year I will take a few moments to reflect on what God has done in my heart and life the past 365 days. This year in passing I have failed miserably again in my own efforts to craft a better me and sanctify myself. My resolutions to quit, change and start over have backfired. My promises to do better, do more, and in some cases do less—have all crashed and burned. I have seen more than my share of what man can do, it’s what God can do that I need to see more of.
One more year has served me notice that I’ve had my fill of building Ken’s own little kingdom. All too often I neglect the plight of the poor, ignore the cry of the needy, marginalize the pain of the oppressed, overlook the forgotten, patronize the tossed aside, judge the spit upon, write-off the hopeless, abandon the old left to die, and forget the young denied the privilege to live.
My silly resolutions can starve for all I care, what do they compare to the surpassing greatness of knowing Jesus Christ? For me, the passing of 2009 signals one less year I have left to touch others with the love of Christ.
Hi, my name is Ken, and I’m a recovering self-help junkie.
“The only true perfection available to us is the honest acceptance of our imperfection.” ~Richard Rohr
I’ll go one step further than Rohr—my true perfection is only found in Jesus. Recovery for me isn’t perfection. Recovery for me in a sense is the rejection of my perfection. Perfection for me is a wicked mirage. I have enough pressure with my day-to-day responsibilities, my job, my health concerns, the strains I cannot control on my relationships, and my finances. Trying to live up to some state of perfection I can’t attain is a threat to any recovery I hope to maintain because it’s the carrot I never get.
I have learned the hard way that to define success the way some extremists and narrow-minded approaches take is to threaten my sanity (and that’s pretty shaky ground as it is). As imperfect as my recovery is—to define recovery as perfection is eventual and sure defeat.
Hi, my name is Ken, and I’m a recovering self-help junkie.
The last several days it has come to my attention that I’ve hit a wall on several fronts in my life. My plans to get a book deal have stalled (and not so I could become some big shot author by any means). In addition, I could list 7 other things that have come to a halt—that is if they ever had gotten started to begin with. I am collecting a paycheck right for which I can be very thankful (especially after being unemployed for over a year and considering how many others remain jobless). But for me a job is merely a means to an end. My life consists of much more than what I do between the hours of 9-5.
You see, my life has turned out to date much different from how I planned it say 20 years ago. Oh, I know, the next chapter remains unwritten and that’s cool, because this chapter has been long and painful. But it isn’t all bad… that is the inconviences, dissapointments, heartache and frustrations. This unwelcome chapter after all has served to define me in a sense, and it’s also helped me find out some things I just had to know.
”Let the redeemed of the LORD say so,
whom he has redeemed from trouble…” ~Psalm 107:2
It’s our trouble that he uses to redeem us after all.
I’ve learned who I am, and maybe even just as importantly, who I am not. Whether I am anyone else’s or not, I am God’s beloved child. I am a sinner covered by sheer mercy and saved by amazing grace. My name is written in the Book of Life with ink that cannot be erased. So, no matter what awaits me, and irregardless of whether the rain is pouring or the sun is shining tomorrow—I am spoken for, I am forgiven, and I am in the company of the Lord’s redeemed.
Hi, my name is Ken, and I’m a recovering self-help junkie.
My mom shared the following with me that her neighbor passed along from a 1974 edition of Reader’s Digest.
Doc and Jack were great friends, but they argued over every step of a golf course. One day they decided to avoid argument by not speaking. All went smoothly until the 15th green. Doc, a little ahead, walked up to the ball on the edge of the green and stood there. Jack waded into the sand trap to play out. He took a swing, then another, and another. At last, he topped the ball out of the trap and across the green into another trap. Then he hit the ball back into the first trap. Grimly, he got into the trap again and prepared to play.
Doc broke the silence. “Do you mind if I say a word” he asked.
“Well,” snarled Jack, “What is it?”
“You’re playing my ball.”
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