Home > Uncategorized > Nouwen on True Intimacy

Nouwen on True Intimacy

Hi, my name is Ken, and I’m a recovering self-help junkie.  
This makes all the sense in the world…   
“Human relationships easily become possessive. Our hearts so much desire to be loved that we are inclined to cling to the person who offers us love, affection, friendship, care, or support. Once we have seen or felt a hint of love, we want more of it. That explains why lovers so often bicker with each other. Lovers’ quarrels are quarrels between people who want more of each other than they are able or willing to give.

It is very hard for love not to become possessive because our hearts look for perfect love and no human being is capable of that. Only God can offer perfect love. Therefore, the art of loving includes the art of giving one another space. When we invade one another’s space and do not allow the other to be his or her own free person, we cause great suffering in our relationships. But when we give another space to move and share our gifts, true intimacy becomes possible.” ~Henri Nouwen

Lord—help us give one another space to move, and ourselves the same. May we experience the true intimacy only you can give.

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  1. Kelly
    March 3, 2010 at 4:48 pm

    Profound and true. Goes along with there is “strength in the letting go.” Thanks for sharing Ken 🙂

  2. kenstoll
    March 3, 2010 at 4:53 pm

    you’re welcome Kelly. Do you have a blog?

  3. March 3, 2010 at 6:12 pm

    Ken, I like that. Where’s it from?

  4. lori
    March 3, 2010 at 9:06 pm

    This is so true and something we all need to hear! Thanks for sharing it.

  5. kenstoll
    March 4, 2010 at 12:36 pm

    Jason… It’s from a daily email I get from the Henri Nouwen Society. I emailed you a link.

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